#Love&Lust- How to know if your connection is more about lust and less about love?

WELLBEING

Lovelust

By Shahzeen Shivdasani

How do you really know which way your connection is heading? Is it lust? Does it have the potential for love? We get involved and only then do we truly find out. However, here are 4 signs for you to know where this could be heading, BEFORE you take things forward.

Full attention vs. half attention: When he is with you or talking to you in anyway are you getting his full attention? Are conversations always jokes and punch lines OR can they actually be meaningful? If it is a lustful relationship it will never seem deep. Him not seeming that interested in your life means just that! A guy who wants to get to know more of you will probably take you more seriously as well.

By your Side vs. conveniently there: Is he there for you when it is convenient for him or is he there when you want him to be? It might be more of a lust-based relationship if he doesn’t truly care about how you are feeling. If he chooses to make sure he is there when you reach out to him, then a stronger connection definitely exists.

Notice how I said ‘want him to be’ and not ‘need him to be’. Remember, you should never NEED anyone but yourself!

Roaming eye vs. all eyes on you: When you’re talking to him is he constantly trying to make eye contact or is he ‘checking out the scene?’ It is normal for US ALL to check out the beauty that surrounds us but if you are left feeling that he is not hooked, then he probably isn’t.

Consistency vs. Inconsistency: DO NOT OVER LOOK THESE FACTORS. This is your deal breaker. A man that truly wishes to get to know you and take you seriously will always be consistent. He will not ‘flake’ and he will want you to know this. If he says he’ll call and doesn’t, disappears for days, calls you late on weekends then he does not see this being more than causal and it is probably more about lust.

Pay attention to the signs. In the words of author Marion Lounette “Lust starts with chemistry. Love starts with trust and respect”.

Which relationship do you want to be a part of?

Shahzeen Shivdasani

Shahzeen Shivdasani

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